Sunday Post: 10/31/2021

Hello, my lovelies.

I guess Happy Halloween to those who celebrate. Me, I hope that I am hiding in my dark house tonight, although with the ongoing pandemic and the dodgy weather this week, I can’t imagine that we will get trick or treaters.

I want to say that nothing much happened this week, but because nothing much happens EVERY week, that feels like a cop out. So, allow me to dig into that pile of Swiss cheese I call a brain for some deets.

I had a psych evaluation this week, which was interesting. See, when I applied for MS-related disability, I also listed (cause the form said to list everything that you are in current treatment for) that I have an anxiety disorder and chronic depression. The problem is that both of those things were diagnosed by a prior doctor, and there is nothing in my current file at Kaiser to back up that claim (except the fact that I am being treated for it, but that seems too much of a conclusion to ask anyone to draw). So, the disability people referred me to a lovely PhD, and we talked for an hour about my history, about what an unbelievably anxious kid I was (seriously, I get that it wasn’t a thing in 1977, but how my 10-year-old self needed Xanax…), when my depression was diagnosed and why (spoiler alert—it was after my husband died) and so on. She also asked me to remember some words, which put me in the mind of Trump’s mental faculties test (“person, woman, man, camera, TV…“).

Anyway, she was lovely, and she told me that she hopes that I get approved, which leaves me optimistic that she is going to RECOMMEND that I get approved, which would be grand since I haven’t worked all year.

I also started a book club. Well, am starting. Technically, it doesn’t start till December, but I am plugging away with a website, and readers, and rules. It’s not a small amount of work, but I’m kinda jazzed. I can’t believe that I of all people have never been in a book club.

I read only two books this week. I’d like to say that it was because I was so busy with the psych eval and the book club, but the truth is that I had such a Daisy Jones book hangover that NOTHING seemed like the thing I wanted to read. I know that I started and abandoned four books (at least) before finally settling in to a couple (new-to-me yet also) familiar romcoms.

They were…fine. The Charm Offensive is about a closeted man who is chosen as the star of a bachelor-type show and falls for his adorable PA instead. Interesting look at what the behind-the-scenes might be like for one of those shows. And The Wedding Date had a fairly non-traditional female lead, a curvy BIPOC attorney. The male lead was a typical commitment-averse hot white doctor, though, so it was only half-groundbreaking.

OK, that’s all from the 52 Pantry, where I have gone to ground until all threat of costumed children has passed.

Till next week, stay safe, read something amazing and don’t forget about half-price Halloween candy. It’s the only thing that redeems this ridiculous holiday.

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5 thoughts on “Sunday Post: 10/31/2021

  1. I’m so glad your treatment/diagnosis is being sorted out – though what a farce having to prove something you are already being treated for!

    Your mention of being treated for anxiety put me in mind of a news story I watched only last week on the under diagnosis of ADHD in females in the UK. One of the indicators is being diagnosed with anxiety as a child because girls don’t usually get the “running around” hyperactivity, they have the “brain on overdrive” type. Someone described it as having 15 browser tabs open and not being able to focus on one at a time but rather madly hoping from tab to tab.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! My best friend was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and I’m not gonna lie…some of it sounds VERY familiar to me. The thing about proving the anxiety/depression is kind of a farce, but then again the entire thing kind of is. My last MRI clearly showed 20+ areas of effect in my brain, with “more than five” permanent areas of damage (they charmingly call these ‘black holes’). So, from my perspective, just looking at the Swiss cheese that is my brain should tell them all they need to know, but I’ve been going back and forth with them since May.

      But hey, sun came out today,and today, I can walk, and there are books, so it’s not all bad. 🤓

      Liked by 1 person

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